every finger in the room is pointing at me I wanna spit in their faces then I get afraid of
what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my
mouth figures that my COURAGE would choose to sell out now I've been looking
for a savior in these dirty streets looking for a savior beneath these dirty
sheets I've been raising up my hands drive another nail in just what GOD needs
one more victim why do we crucify ourselves every day I crucify myself
nothing I do is good enough for you crucify myself every day and my HEART is
sick of being in chains got a kick for a dog beggin' for LOVE I gotta have
my suffering so that I can have my cross I know a cat named Easter he says will
you ever learn you're just an empty cage girl if you kill the bird I've been
looking for a savior in these dirty streets looking for a savior beneath these
dirty sheets I've been raising up my hands drive another nail in got enough
GUILT to start my own religion please be save me I CRY...
Tori Quotes
Bells started going off every time I wouldn't stick up for myself. I accepted Quasimodo was a squatter in my cerebral area. A rhythmic pattern kept chasing me around. I dug out the drum machine and put the pattern down. I would leave that pattern on for hours while I just sat and argued with myself about stuff. The first music to get put to the pattern was the "B" section, "I've been looking for a saviour"... a door opened and the demons started to show up. [Little Earthquakes songbook]
"I know a cat named Easter he says: will you ever learn? You're just an empty cage girl, if you kill the bird." That cat is Jesus. He's my love [smiles]. He gives me wisdom. The rest is up to yourself. [Oor - March 7, 1992]
I've been in the alternative stations because they won't play my lyrics. The whole Bible-belt banned me for "Crucify" because they thought I was being sacrilegous. They felt that it was detrimental material for their children and that it was blasphemous. So "Crucify" was banned and "Silent All These Years" using 4-letter words, I think. [Hollywood Report - September 10, 1992]
I was living in L.A. when I wrote that. Times were changing. I had just recently come out of the Y Kant Tori Read experience, which catapulted me -- drove me -- to begin making this music. Unknowingly, I just had to write. Because I wasn't used to failure. I'd been a child prodigy. From child prodigy to "vapid bimbo," I think, was one of the quotes -- it was a galaxy apart. Signs were happening around me. Across town, somebody called Tracy Chapman was in the studio recording her first record. There was another gal that was coming out at that time called Melissa Etheridge.
Those two other women were being supported to be true to their art. I kind of got put in a category. There were categories of more artistic, more commercial, and in my mind, [commercial] wasn't a dirty word. Because at the time, there were all kinds of artists that I liked that were doing it. When Y Kant Tori Read was decimated, the image wasn't a good choice. I learned a lot by not really picking the photographer myself, not working with a proper stylist who understood what you were trying to do and can help you show that. I had to put the pieces back together, because I hadn't been used to being a failure. So I had to then look at my part in the misrepresentation of my soul, and how I pulled the trigger. [Rolling Stone - December 18, 2009]
Live Versions
"Crucify"
April 23, 1992 - New York, New York Late Night with David Letterman
"Crucify" and "Winter"
January 12, 1993 - Los Angeles, California The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
"Crucify"
November 10, 1996 - Boulder, Colorado
"Crucify"
June 27, 1998 - Pilton, England Glastonbury Festival
"Crucify"
October 11, 2001 - New York, New York
"Crucify"
November 14, 2002 - New York, New York Scarlet Sessions
"Crucify"
March 2009 - Austin, Texas KGSR Radio
"Crucify"
July 5, 2023 - Vienna, Virginia
t o r i p h o r i a tori amos digital archive yessaid.com
