KB (Kevin or Bean): The world famous KROQ, 106.7 KROQ. The songs end and then boom, we're right there on the air.
Tori: Are we like, on the air?
KB: Well, we are kind of. Yeah. How are ya, Tori?
Tori: [laughs] What's kind of on the air?
KB: Tori Amos. Yes, we are on the air.
Tori: Ok.
KB: Yeah, we are. You look delightful, how have you been?
Tori: Thank, guys. Very well.
KB: Let me tell you, we were talking about you earlier today because you're a big-time rock 'n' roll star now. And this is the third time --
Tori: Hang on a minute. [makes a weird sound and laughs]
KB: You lookin' for a source on that? But this is the third time you've been on the Kevin and Bean show, and usually we can't get anyone to come back after the first time. We're just so in awe that you actually have agreed to come back again.
KB: Like, Tori, if we were dating, we would get first dates all the time, but we'd never be able to get the return phone call.
Tori: Why do you think that is?
KB: I don't know.
KB: It's us.
KB: Why do you think that is? You've met us. What's the problem? What are we doing wrong?
KB: Who's holding the gun to your head and telling you to come back and do our show, is what I'm trying to figure out.
Tori: My tour manager. [laughs]
KB: Oh, very nice of him. Well, like you need the help. We understand, sold out at the Pantages tonight, sold out at the Pantages in Hollywood tomorrow night, and just a couple seats left for the third night, is that my understanding? Is that correct? That's the way it is?
KB: What's correct.
KB: So you clearly are doing fine without us. Now you've been non-stop on the road since last time we saw you, remember, you did that live show out in Pasadena for us.
Tori: Yeah.I've done a hundred and eight shows since February.
KB: Oh my lord.
KB: Wow.
KB: And you really don't live anywhere, do you?
Tori: Truthfully, my address is rocket cargo at LAX airport.
KB: You really don't have a house to go home to?
Tori: No, I don't have a home now.
KB: If you had a two week break...
KB: Where do they send your Mastercard bills? Where does that go?
Tori: To my parents.
KB: To your folks' house.
Tori: [laughs] Yes.
KB: Good call. Can I send my Mastercard bills to your parents?
Tori: Yeah, but I send all my money to my folks, too.
KB: Oh, ok, that akes a difference.
Tori: I mean, they're like, I don't know, my dad is a minister, I decided he'd be really great in the rock 'n' roll business because when uh...
KB: No temptations.
Tori: No, well, when people try and cheat me, you know, or when they try and hold up your money, my dad puts on his clerical collar and takes his bible and goes up to the big boys and says, "You're not treating my daughter very right."
KB: Very good.
KB: Now I don't suppose you've heard this before, but Gary Coleman trusted his parents with all that Different Strokes money and look what happened. It's gonna be ugly in a few years.
Tori: Yeah, but.
KB: Now he's running a video parlor down in Marina del Rey or someplace.
Tori: Yeah, but I don't know, my parents are different. My mother is the best roadie there ever was. My mother is great. My dad, he hangs out with all the loaders. He gets, I don't know...
KB: Well they know the best girls. [laughs]
Tori: [laughs] Yeah, they do know the best girls. And my dad has a strange feeling that he should have been James Dean. There's a part of my dad, a a conservative minister as he is, and preachin' all this stuff that, you know, he looks at Marilyn Monroe pictures when her dress comes up and just goes, "Ohh, Lordy."
KB: Now, when you say your mom's a roadie, she's not the one like, coming out bringing, you know, tuning the piano before the show and stuff, is she?
Tori: No, we have guys to do that.
KB: "Mom, haul the equipment, come on, we ain't got time."
Tori: Mom is like a, she's a bit of a jetsetter. She's, she likes to hang out with the musicians. She'll, you know, other women will start talking to her, those um, mothers against all that stuff, and she'll say, "Now, don't you even start with me. I know that Trent Reznor, and he's a nice boy. And I know Matt Sorum from Guns 'n' Roses and he loved my chicken." So she's very sweet, my mom.
KB: Now, do they tour with you all the time? Or do they tour with you at all?
KB: Just sometimes when it's convenient?
Tori: No, no, no, they jump on once in awhile, but...
KB: Well, because they're out with the Stones this summer, too.
Tori: [laughs]
KB: They can't do both.
Tori: Yeah, Mom's carrying Keith's guitar.
KB: Now why a 300-night-a-year tour, Tori, what's up with that? I know you love performing, I mean, it seems like it. You've done 108 shows since February and obviously you've got no, it doesn't look like you're slowing down, why so many shows?
Tori: Because I have nowhere to go. [laughs
KB: She has no house.
Tori: I'm homeless. I don't know where I'm going.
KB: When do you see this tour ending? Is it just another couple weeks?
Tori: No, Christmas.
KB: You gonna do this like U2, for the rest of your life?
Tori: No.
KB: Ok, then at Christmas what are you gonna do? You gonna go back to your parents?
Tori: I don't know yet.
KB: You don't have a plan.
Tori: I have no plans, which is strange 'cause I used to like have everything planned. I was gonna have a baby, I was gonna do everything.
KB: I can help you with that bit.
KB: No, by what age did you want to have a baby?
Tori: Well, I'm 31. And I wanted to get pregnant this Fall. But um...
KB: Would you like to get pregnant this morning? ...It's the least I can do as a hospitable host.
Tori: If you want to carry the baby, then fine, we'll make a deal.
KB: Well, that's not a good... Now you, your music obviously is of very personal nature, and I know that it means the world to you. I mean, you'd be doing what you're doing whether you were selling the millions of records or not. I can speak for you in that respect. Are you aware of the Tori Amos Industry that has just sprung up around you? Have you seen the magazine covers and the newspaper articles and the fan clubs and everything that has sprung up since you've become popular?
Tori: Well, I've heard about the twenty-two bootlegs. [laughs]
KB: Isn't that amazing? Hey, we've seen 'em. Your show that you did on the Kevin and Bean show out in Pasadena has turned up on compact disc.
Tori: That's right.
KB: We had a listener called who bought one out there.
Tori: Right.
KB: There are three or four international fan clubs for you. You're all over like, the internet, for insance. There's hundreds of people from around the country that are always dissecting the music, and "where's tori and when is she gonna be on tv" and all that stuff. I mean, it's kinda weird, isn't it?
Tori: Well, I mean, you know, it's funny how this computer thing -- I don't know much about it because um, I don't listen to the radio or watch tv or do any of that stuff, so I'm a bit...
KB: Kinda out of the loop a little bit?
Tori: I'm out of the loop, yeah.
KB: Well, we have a bulletin for you: you're getting pretty popular.
Tori: [laughs]
KB: Well, listen, here's what we need to do, because now we're running dreadfully late because we've been sucking up, but can we play a couple commercials and come back and I couldn't help but notice you've got a keyboard and I'm hoping we'll be able to talk you into singing a song for us.
Tori: Got it.
KB: So let's take a break and do that on KROQ.
KB: Alright, it's 8:48...
commercials
KB: 106.7 KROQ, Kevin and Bean , 8:53.
KB: Tori Amos in the studio with us. Good morning again, my dear.
Tori: We're getting prank faxes.
KB: I noticed that. You need to respond to that? I'll read it.
Tori: Yeah, you read it.
KB: By the way, Tori, again, there are still a few seats left for her performance at the Pantages on Thursday night, Tuesday and Wednesday are sold out, promise it'll be a terrific show.
KB: "To KROQ Radio, Attention Tori Amos: Hi, I couldn't resist to send you a fax. A few weeks ago in Detrtoit a friend took me to see your show, I was floored. It was one of the best live shows that I've ever seen, and you're a very talented performer. But I need to know one thing: Who is the muscular blond man that works on your crew????? What a beef-cake, an absolute sex kitten. He's the tan one with a rock hard butt. Dressed in all black. I gotta know. Is he in LA. Where can I find him. Lustfully yours, Bambi."
Tori: Bambi, that's my security man. His name is Joel. He'll be there.
KB: Oh, there you go. That's good news.
KB: There's a fine answer to your question.
KB: Now, do you want to use your headphones here, do you wanna? Let's bring the keyboard up, let's make sure it sounds ok, Tori. If you wanna hit a couple buttons there and see.
Tori: So guys, what do you want to hear?
KB: Well it, I mean, we were just talking during the commercials, you do so many songs, you're not wanting for lack of material, that's for sure. Um, it's pretty much your choice. We trust your instincts. I'd like to hear "Free Bird," the Skynard song, if you know that.
Tori: Ok, hang on, hang on. Ohhh. Ehhh.
KB: "Free Bird," no?
KB: Alright, "Sweet Home Alabama"?
Tori: [laughs] Mm, hang on.
Tori plays the keyboard and sings:
Sweet home Alabama, yes
where the skies are blue, ooh hoo, yes, say
Sweet home Alabama, boy
well, I'm coming home to you...
KB: That's not the way I've ever heard it before. Only you can make that song sound sexy, by the way.
KB: Remarkable.
KB: Remember last time when you were here and "Whoomp, There It Is" was a big song?
Tori: Oh, boy.
KB: We asked you to do that song and you did this --
They play a recording from Tori's last appearance on the show:
Tori: This is from the new Record.
KB: "Whoomp, There It Is?"
Tori: Oh no, you guys!
KB: You were hoping we'd never hear this again, weren't you?
KB: Can you do that?
Tori: What's that?
KB: Your "Whoomp, There It Is", we love that one. Oh, that's not hers, sorry.
Tori starts singing: Whoomp, there is it, there she goes again...
Tori: No!!!
In the bathroom with her shoes off...
KB: [the recording is still playing] The crowd goes wild. Tori's lying on the floor now.
Whoomp, there it is, with Kevin and Bean
a cookie in the over...
KB: I think that's enough. You want us to destroy that one, don't you?
Tori: Dude, I'd hate to be your girlfriend. You'd be like um, Chuch Berry, you know, he -- instead of like, having cameras in the bathroom, you'd have like, um, little recorders.
KB: Yeah, exactly. Next time you come in, we're gonna play "Sweet Home Alabama" for you, right.
Tori: Ahhh!
KB: Alright, you pick, Tori, what do you like? What still do you enjoy? I guess you like doing all your songs, but anything in particular you wanna do?
Tori: Should we do a cover? Should we do something I've never done before?
KB: I tell you, whatever you want to do. You're one of that artists that comes in and we say it's yours. We'll just sit back and enjoy it.
Tori: Ok, well I'm in a Police mood.
KB: Alright.
KB: Ok.
Tori: I've just been into that whole, I don't know...
KB: Now, Tori Amos doing The Police. On KROQ.
KB: I think you just killed her. You're killing her mic.
KB: Hold on a sec.
KB: Tori, Tori, I'm very sorry. Got Stevie Wonder running the controls here, I'm sorry.
Tori performs Wrapped Around Your Finger
KB: Very nice.
KB: That's not an easy song to remember all the words to, by the way. That's a long one. Are you the kind of person that can just, like, if we picked a song that you've never really played before, you could just perform it?
Tori: If I heard it once, maybe. But I might not remember the lyrics.
KB: That's amazing, though, that a song like that, that you would be able to play.
Tori: Yeah, but I can't remember jokes good. It took me fifteen minutes to know this two-line joke.
KB: That's not good, that's bad pacing.
KB: Now hold on, what was the joke? Do you remember it?
KB: That's bad timing.
Tori: Ok, wait, wait, wait. It's about um, no, it's not dysfunctional Johnny... dyslexic! Ok, hang on. It's about the dyslexic devil-worshi-, ok wait, wait, wait. Um, I tried it out on a few people, it hasn't gone so good, but...
KB: I don't know why. [laughs]
Tori: Wait, wait, wait. Wait a minute. Ok, did you hear about the dyslexic devil-worshipper?
KB: No, what?
Tori: He sold his soul to Santa!
KB: Thank you, goodnight! [applause]
Tori: I love that joke so much, it's so cute! I tell that to all my devil friends.
KB: Can we give you a pretty easy one to remember that we consider to be the finest joke making the rounds today?
Tori: Yes.
KB: Now, this is cool, this is good for any, it's not an O.J. joke, it's just an all-around well-constructed great joke and it never fails to please. You ready? Kevin, you want to do the honros this time?
KB: No, you go ahead. You have a command of this one.
KB: An aardvark walks into a bar, the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Thank you, goodnight!
Tori: Oh, you guys, my devil joke is so much better than that.
KB: You need a follow-up, though. I'm saying, you can't base a career on one joke. Alright, do we need to break?
KB: Nah, we don't need to break.
KB: Really?...
Tori: Do you want me to sing a commercial?
KB: No, we want you to.
KB: We do want you to sing another song, but I wanted to ask you about something, 'cause I don't know how much time we have. But I'm reading this morning's daily news, the valley paper up here in Los Angeles, talking about your shows here at the Pantages, and you said something that kind of made me stop and go, "Well, she's a weirdo." [laughs] What is this about part lives as a Viking?
Tori: [laughs]
KB: And I don't know if you mind me bringing that up, but just, you seemed, in the article it's presented as it was a serious comment. Do you have knowledge of previous existences, or what's the deal there?
Tori: Well, let's put it this way. When my crew needs, you know, me to pull a babe for them, they totally trust me, 'cause they know I'm gonna through.
KB: Right.
KB: What does that have to do with being a Viking?
Tori: Well, because when you're a Viking in another life and you've stolen like, loads od babes from the Aryan coast, they totally trust me.
KB: Ok.
KB: So you're on the weed, is what you're telling me, basically?
Tori: [laughs]
KB: You've been on the road too long.
KB: Tori needs a house.
Tori: No.
KB: You and your Santa joke.
Tori: Let's put it this way. If you guys, for one minute, are disruptive during my performance, you will not question that I'm a Viking. you will not even question it. And the whole idea that people, you know, go, "Oh, that little girl up there that's about 5'2" that plays that really big piano," and so help us, honey, you try it. I'm gonna pee on your head. You're out of line, forget it.
KB: I don't want that.
KB: No problem there. You won't get anything from us. Alright, you want to do one more for us?
Tori: Not really. [laughs]
KB: You don't have to if you don't want to.
Tori: Um.
KB: It's fine.
KB: That's fine. You know what, if you want to just come in and use us to promote your little concert and once you've gotten that out of the way, just leave. That's fine.
KB: [laughs]
Tori: No, I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm spent.
KB: No problem.
KB: Well, you've had a busy...
KB: That joke takes it outta ya.
KB: So, are you gonna spend your time beyond your shows at the Pantages? By the way, Native American Bill Miller opening up.
Tori: Fantastic.
KB: I happen to, obviously no one's heard of this record, but I happen to own it and know and it really is terrific.
Tori: It's great, he's wonderful.
KB: So get there early and see Bill. So, besides the Pantages, what are you gonna do in town? You gonna visit the sites or anything? Or just hang out?
Tori: What do you mean? I'm visiting you guys, I'm doing KTLA tomorrow, isn't that what I'm doing? The tv show.
KB: So it's just all publicity while you're here, pretty much?
Tori: Yeah, just working.
KB: You don't get a day off, do you?
Tori: Just being a sleaze, that's me. You know, I ran into Morrissey backstage somewhere in London and he was like, "I don't make videos, it goes against my art." And I go, "I'm a slut, I'll make 'em."
KB: Do you really not listen to the radio very much?
Tori: Nope. I don't.
KB: What do you do for entertainment?
KB: Well, I mean, you love music, though, why wouldn't you want to hear what's happening?
Tori: Well, I have a CD collection. I'm just not, you know, in the car enough. I'm just not as close to it. But we hear music, we have great CD collections on the road. You know everybody's walking around with a...
KB: Mom and Dad got, you know, the Nine Inch Nails...
Tori: Mom and Dad, they've got everything.
KB: Were you interersted in Woodstock at all, Tori?
Tori: No.
KB: Not a bit? Would you have gone?
Tori: No.
KB: No.
Tori: I just, it's not... it's just not up my street.
KB: Why are you touching yourself, what's going on with that? [laughs]
Tori: [laughs] Because...
KB: Not that I'm not interested in Woodstock, but more importantly, why are you fondling yourself?
KB: Tori Amos has always been much more interesting to interview in person than to listen to on the radio.
KB: That is correct. If only you all could be here.
Tori: [laughs] No, my bra's undone, I'm sorry.
KB: Alright, that's right.
KB: Well, I believe we'll say so long, then. We'll let you adjust and... you know, we really do appreciate you coming in because you're a big star, now, and I know you don't like to hear that, but you really are a big star, now. You don't have to do out stinking little show anymore. But we appreciate that you do.
KB: Say thank you.
KB: She doesn't know how to respond to that.
Tori: Thank you, guys.
KB: "See you next time, Kevin and Bean."
Tori: See you next time, Kevin and Bean.
KB: Alright.
Tori: And you really play this stuff, don't you? I mean, you like, haunt people with the little things they do on your show.
KB: Absolutely.
KB: Oh yeah, you'll be hearing about this one.
Tori: Well, see you guys.
KB: Thanks a lot, Tori.
KB: Let's take a break, shall we? Then come back.
They play the recording from Tori's last visit:
Tori: This is from the new record.
KB: "Whoomp, There It Is?" Can you do that?
Tori: What's that?
KB: Your "Whoomp, There It Is", we love that one. Oh, that's not hers, sorry.
Tori starts singing:
Whoomp, there is it, there she goes again...
KB: I'm just kidding, I'm not gonna play it again, I was just trying to torture you a little bit.
Tori: [laughs]
KB: We'll wait 'til you leave the room.
[transcribed by jason/yessaid]
t o r i p h o r i a tori amos digital archive yessaid.com
